pdf hurt feelings report

The Hurt Feelings Report is a satirical document designed to humorously document grievances related to emotional distress․ It provides a structured format for detailing personal experiences‚ incidents‚ and emotional impacts‚ often with exaggerated or trivial concerns․ The form is intended to mock the idea of formalizing hurt feelings while highlighting the fine line between genuine emotional sensitivity and perceived oversensitivity in professional or public settings․

Purpose and Origin of the Form

The Hurt Feelings Report was created as a satirical tool to mock individuals seeking to document trivial grievances related to emotional distress; Its primary purpose is to humorously critique the tendency to formalize even minor offenses‚ often exaggerating the seriousness of such incidents․ Originating as a parody of formal complaint procedures‚ the form gained popularity for its ability to highlight the fine line between genuine emotional sensitivity and perceived oversensitivity․ It is often used in professional or public settings to mock the idea of reporting “hurt feelings” in a structured‚ bureaucratic manner․ The form includes sections for personal details‚ incident specifics‚ and emotional impact‚ all presented in an exaggerated and facetious tone․ Its design intentionally parodies administrative processes‚ making it a controversial yet thought-provoking document․

Structure and Key Components

The Hurt Feelings Report is structured as a satirical form‚ containing several key components designed to mock the process of documenting emotional grievances․ It includes sections for personal information‚ such as the name and title of the individual reporting their hurt feelings․ The form also features checkboxes or written responses to detail why feelings were hurt‚ such as “Someone said something mean” or “I am thin-skinned․” A narrative section allows individuals to describe their emotional distress in exaggerated detail‚ often referred to as “sissy words․” Additionally‚ the form includes fields for the name of the person responsible for hurting feelings and questions about the severity of the emotional impact‚ such as whether tissues were needed for tears․ It also contains a signature section‚ complete with sarcastic prompts‚ and a request for a preferred method of soothing hurt feelings‚ such as a hug or a blankie․

Filling Out the Hurt Feelings Report

The form requires personal details‚ incident specifics‚ and emotional impact․ Users list reasons for hurt feelings‚ such as “Someone said something mean” or “I am thin-skinned․” A narrative section and signature complete the process‚ with sarcastic prompts adding humor to the satirical document․

Personal Information Section

The Personal Information Section of the Hurt Feelings Report requires individuals to provide their name‚ rank‚ or title․ This section is designed to identify the person filling out the form‚ often humorously referred to as the “whiner․” It includes fields such as F․ NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM and C․ PRINTED WHINER NAME․ The form also asks for the name of the person who caused the emotional distress‚ labeled as E․ NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS․ Additionally‚ it inquires about whether anyone was sympathetic to the whiner‚ including paid witnesses․ This section sets the tone for the rest of the report‚ blending sarcasm with the formal structure of a complaint document․

Incident Details and Emotional Impact

The Incident Details and Emotional Impact section of the Hurt Feelings Report delves into the specifics of the event causing emotional distress․ It includes questions like WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO? and IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?․ Additionally‚ it asks if a tissue was required for tears and whether the incident resulted in a traumatic brain injury․ This section humorously exaggerates the severity of emotional harm while providing a structured way to document the incident․ It also includes a checklist for the nature of the emotional injury‚ such as whether tissues were needed or if paid witnesses were involved․ The form’s tone balances satire with the seriousness of emotional impact‚ making it a controversial yet thought-provoking document․ The detailed yet absurd inquiries highlight its satirical intent․

Narrative and Signature Requirements

The Narrative and Signature Requirements section of the Hurt Feelings Report mandates a detailed account of the incident causing emotional distress․ Individuals are prompted to describe their grievances in their own words‚ referred to as “sissy words‚” ensuring clarity and honesty․ The narrative must articulate how feelings were hurt and the impact experienced․ Following the narrative‚ the form requires signatures from both the reporter and the person who caused the hurt feelings‚ certifying the accuracy of the account․ Additional fields include certifications and warnings‚ such as “you have got to be shitting me!” to emphasize the form’s satirical tone․ The section concludes with a commitment from the department to provide support‚ such as dispatching a hugger or an EMS team if needed‚ blending humor with a mock-serious approach to emotional care․

Guidelines for Submitting the Report

Submit the Hurt Feelings Report by physically placing it in the hands of a Law Enforcement Officer․ Ensure all sections are filled accurately and honestly‚ avoiding trivialities for effective processing․

Do’s and Don’ts for Effective Reporting

When completing the Hurt Feelings Report‚ honesty and clarity are essential․ Do provide accurate details about the incident‚ including dates‚ times‚ and parties involved․ Be truthful about your emotional experience without exaggeration․ Ensure your narrative is clear and concise‚ avoiding vague statements․ Don’t trivialize the process by including irrelevant or false information․ Refrain from using the form for humorous or misleading purposes‚ as it may undermine its intent․ Avoid self-harm references or unrelated emotional distress․ Ensure the report is legible and fully completed before submission․ Following these guidelines ensures the report is taken seriously and processed effectively‚ balancing humor with genuine emotional expression․

Submission Process and Recipient Guidelines

The Hurt Feelings Report must be physically submitted to a Law Enforcement Officer‚ ensuring it reaches the appropriate authority for review․ The form includes a notice under the Privacy Act of 1974‚ adding a layer of legitimacy to its satirical design․ Once completed‚ the report should be handed over in person to ensure it is taken seriously․ Recipients‚ such as law enforcement‚ are encouraged to handle the document with the gravity it deserves‚ despite its humorous tone․ The form also promises support‚ such as dispatching a hugger or EMS‚ if feelings are severely hurt․ Guidelines emphasize the importance of submitting accurate and truthful information‚ avoiding frivolous or misleading details․ This structured process ensures the report is both effective and respectful‚ balancing its satirical intent with genuine emotional expression․

Controversy and Reception

The Hurt Feelings Report sparks debate as a satirical tool mocking emotional sensitivity․ While some find it humorous‚ others criticize it for trivializing genuine emotional distress‚ creating polarization in its reception․